Every now and then I flat out wonder and ask myself: what’s the purpose… Why study so hard? Why get so fixated on one goal? What is the overall objective? And if it sounds like I may go off on a rant about the meaning of life– just hear me out for a second. I truly believe people are brought to this world with some grand purpose or mission they are to achieve. Whether it happens unnoticeably or it is the center point of one’s life, there is a purpose. I don’t know if you are supposed to figure out your purpose or not, if it is something that can just happen or doesn’t exist. As I am in my early 20’s I occasionally convince myself that I can find the answer to the meaning of life and at the same time laugh at the thought and know I won’t solve anything except maybe a hangover.
Today, I visited a family friend at the hospital and saw the way this elderly man cared for his very ill wife. It was incredible the love this man had in every look he gave her, in the way he fluffed her pillows and would gently stroke her hair out of her face. Unfortunately, his wife fell very ill a few years ago and more recently things have worsened. But yet, this man stood as if the center of his universe is this woman laying helplessly in a bright white hospital bed. For me I saw that his “purpose” had been to be a grand husband. And wow, nothing took my breath away more than to think how successful this man has been in fulfilling that purpose. As he paced around the hospital room one last time before leaving her, his gaze never left her eyes, even if at the moment her eyes were dull and expressionless. After he stroked her face and told her a couple of jokes he kissed her good night and left. Yet, even after he walked out the door I still felt the love he had showered her sitting in the room’s temperature. My eyes glazed over and in those moments, it’s almost impossible not to question what purpose we have.
I find that when you are a witness to high level emotional moments, it can bring you a sense of clarity. Since moving away, I have discovered a greater sense of purpose I wish to have in my life. And whenever I come home I easily see how these big ideas and dreams can so simply stay just fantasies and thoughts. Yet, there are these moments in life that remind me what is truly important to me or what at least for the moment beats in tune with my heart and ticks at the same rhythm as my mind. That’s when I go for it. As 2014 approaches I see my journey in Boston coming to an end and a new one beginning. It would be so simple for me to come back home and call it a nice adventure, but my heart and my mind are telling me my adventure has only just begun.